Tom Cruise & his Impossible Missions

May 18, 2006 at 11:15 p05 (Movies)

If I were in Ipoh and crave the famous Ipoh Hor Fun, I would not be too please if the seller offers me a souped up version of their famous dish. Tom Yam Ipoh Hor Fun, anyone? No, thanks… just the Ipoh Hor Fun. This famous dish derives its fame from the rich soup base, smooth hor fun and the chicken breast meat topping. You don’t go for IHF to savour the taste of tom yam…absurd & ridiculous!! Of course if you just wanna fill a hungry stomach, it really doesn’t matter, does it?

Mission Impossible III is the type of gah yim gah cho (add salt add vinegar) Tom Yam Ipoh Hor Fun dished out by the commercial chef “Tom Yam” Cruise.

The original Mission Impossible TV series chronicled the adventures of the Impossible Mission Taskforce (IMF), a team of government spies and specialists who were assigned "impossible missions" by the unseen "Secretary". The team consists of the Team Leader, the Techno-Wizard, The Strongman, The Master of Disguise, and The Femme Fatale.

Its opening mission assignment (conducted by a pre-recorded tape), the theme composed by Lalo Schifrin, the leader's selection of mission agents from a dossier, the opening briefing, the intricate use of disguises and a typical "mask pulloff" scene near the end of most episodes….were the definition and character of any show that carries the MI logo.

MI3 is totally action and suffers from a severe lack of character. Director JJ Abrahm “interrogation” opening scene will never measured up to John Woo stylishly choreographed “self destruct in 5 second” exploding sunglasses and motor chase scene in Mi2. For his lack of idea, JJ filled the void in his Mi3 with a lot of firework that numb the senses after a while. Look like Tom has lost the plot and JJ was brought in to provide the pyrotechnic firework that made this Mi3 a very ordinary action film.

There are too much adrenalin pumping scenes that do not fit into the MI mould. For me, the scene that really does justice to the MI franchise is the Vatican Ball plot to capture the baddy played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Planning, deception, disguise, high tech wizardry and masterful execution…they are all here. That’s MI pure and simple.

Cruise’s pandering to a 1.2 billion Chinese market is so shameless and obvious. How can you hide an ang moh in China and of all places, in a river village? River villages are so backward; they had not been touched by development for the last 30 years. You can’t even hide a Shanghainese there without attracting a visit from the local police. I can tell you if Cruise were to produce the “The Last Supper” I would not be surprised if he cast a Chinese as one of Jesus disciples. Maggie Q is no ass kicker but a sad token wall flower. Q couldn't even deliver her cantonese lines fluently…i rest my case.

Instead of team work, we have too much of Tom Yam Cruise. Tom Yam rescued colleague, Tom Yam shot down drone plane, Tom Yam stole the rabbit claw, Tom Yam rescued wife….. Maybe because he takes a cut of the film revenue, he tried to do more. Slowly but steadily Tom is turning the Mission Impossible into “Tom & his Impossible Missions”.

The action maybe hot, but who is kidding who… this is one action movie that is ripping off the good will of the Mission Impossible legacy. Tom Yam is turning the MI into a bland popcorn franchise…niamah!! ACTION has not been this dreadful!



  1. maggielurva said,

    good one, this.

    i have never like over-the-top action movies, especially those action for action’s sake.

  2. fantasyflier said,

    heng i never watch yet, watched poseidon insteead…sigh…just as bad… the original poseidon adventure had a tense, suspenseful plot to literally die for…this one so…. so…. contrived..

  3. Helen said,

    Guess Tom cannot carry it off with his name alone eh?? I had been disappointed with Cruise these past few years. (yeah, dumping Nicole too..) He is an actor. He can act. But, he doesn’t want to act anymore.. he wants to be an action star. 😦 Just compare him in his earlier masterpieces like Rain Man, Top Gun, A Few Good Men, Far & Away….

  4. Robin said,

    haha.. I didn’t quite like it too.. and thot I was the weird one..

    Thanks for confirming that I am still alright.

  5. fantasyflier said,

    Tom is wat, 45 y/o liao, we all go thru that phase eh, trying to decide wat we really want to do…

  6. Mickell said,

    I used to love action movies. Now i’m getting lethargic of them. Not that i avoid them totally. But movies are like that, the more you watch, the less satisfied and unimpressed you get ;p

    There’s one sequence which i find quite inexplicable. It’s the part on the Florida Keys bridge where Cruise was trying to shoot at Hoffman who had just been rescued by some presumably mercenary soldiers on a chopper. He was easy target for any of the soldier on the helicopter. Yet none of them opened fire on Cruise despite Cruise’s rapid repeated gunfire ;p

  7. See Fei said,

    I never expected my view of Mi3 will turn into a study of life after 40s as mentioned by FF. Tom is a versatile actor, no doubt. Helen is a fan here i can see. But being good and commercial are two different matter. It is quite obvious Tom chose the later.

    With the retirement of Stallone and Arnorld there is currently a vacuum in the action genre. But Tom is coming in at the tail end of the genre. As Mickell and Maggieleurve comments would let you know, nowadays movie goers would like their action to be intelligent too. Action for action sake is so passe.

    The silent majority like Robin may have felt something is amiss and not right with the latest serving of Mi3. But since we live in a world of instant gratification, 90 minutes of mind numbing actions is not too bad an idea to spend an idle weekend.

    With the box office doing well, i am not expecting Tom to stop at 3. Borrowing a line from the KYLand procreation policy, have more than 3 if you can afford it.

  8. Cocka Doodle said,

    Thanks for the review. I’m gonna give this one a miss for sure.

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