Father’s Day message

June 19, 2006 at 11:15 p06 (Parenting & Parents)

An open letter to my unborn child….

Dear son,
Yesterday was father’s day. I had celebrated another father’s day without you. Do you know that it is actually embarrassing to celebrate father’s day without you. You may be wondering how come daddy and mummy got married for nearly two years and we still haven’t called for you. Please be assured that we love you and would very much like to have your company. Let daddy explain to you.
We didn’t call you in the first year because we would like to settle a few important issues like why your mummy liked to squeeze the tooth paste in the centre instead of at the end of the tube. After we settled the important issue of where to squeeze the tooth paste, your mummy complained that the kitchen and the toilet were dirty. You may wonder what the toilets and kitchen got to do with you. Son, it has everything to do with you. Mummy did not want your food to be prepared in an old and presumably dirty kitchen.

Son, you will spend the first few years of your life making a mess of yourself. Your mummy will have to clean up after you, and she thinks we better renovate the toilet as well, as you and her are going to spend a lot of time in the toilets. Because renovation needed money, daddy had to give up the notion of buying that 500cc new golf driver that daddy had been eyeing for a long time. So, when you grow up and stare down at the toilet bowl in the toilet, imagine you are peeing into the 500cc golf driver that daddy always wanted but never had.

We always want the best for you, son. According to an East Asia survey, Singapore is the best place to have a baby. In another survey, the finding showed that a lot of youngsters here would like to be borne “white”. Although daddy cannot make you “white”, 1 out of 2 is not too bad, right? Mummy always worry that Singapore is too competitive for you and would like to register you as a Malaysian. Daddy thinks the decision on citizenship is better left for you to decide. Daddy will just write “nationality undecided at the time of birth” at the citizen column.

Son, daddy would like to let you know that not a single day passed without thinking of you. In fact, on father’s day yesterday, daddy woke up a bit early to have breakfast with your mummy. After which, we took a walk at the park near our home. Well, you may ask daddy what that got to do with you again, right? Well, calling for you is not as easy as picking up the phone and dial o-r-d-e-r-b-a-b-y. Daddy needs to put mummy in a good mood so we can call for you together. There is a lot of hard work involved. So much so, after calling out for you, we were usually left gasping for breath. So, when the next time you hear heavy breathing coming from our room, don’t ask why. We are calling for a little brother to keep you company.

My son, by now, you probably knows how much we love you. If you can hear daddy now, all daddy’s effort on this year father’s day had not been in vain. We look forward to see you in April 2007. If you forget to bring your kukujiao come April, it is ok. You just have to work harder on your listening skill and forgetfulness when you grow up.

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28 Comments

  1. titoki said,

    OH MY GAWD!!! This is so funny (and quite sexist too). ;p

    Probably because my dad didn’t write this letter to me, I’ve exceptionally good memory and listening skills. Wakakaka.

    And congratulations to see & fei for ‘hitting the jackpot”!!! ;p

  2. Leonard said,

    well, if you wrote this yourself… i’m standing up from my seat and applause for your work!

    it’s brilliant…

    so did you manage to experience heavy breathing and gasping for breath on Father’s Day?

    waiting for the good news…no kukujiao also not bad… the other one is also doing well, here is a female country..a lot of benefits! πŸ™‚

  3. maggielurva said,

    good one! loud message to you and your partner – procreate and make your nation proud!

  4. Helen said,

    Hahaha this is a good post!!

    Now serious mia….

    On behalf of all the leang luis, not so leang luis, aunties and mothers out there, I would like to hand you the honour of being the first official recipient of the SEXIST AWARD of the blogosphere this Father’s day.

  5. Cocka Doodle said,

    It could be twins, yeah! Twin girls! Muahahahahahaha!!!!!

  6. angel said,

    LOLOL! Liu very good!
    So, 3rd party is coming soon? πŸ˜‰

  7. me said,

    this is my most favourite post. i like the way you wrote it and the humour. hope your procreating is as successful as your writing.

  8. See Fei said,

    me
    tohjie2…seng lei gwai yim!

    angel
    now u know who is the 3rd party.

    cocka
    tat wld be double blessing…indeed. yat jin seong tiu issit? 10Q for your well wishes.

    helen
    typo issit?…u meant SEXIEST blogger πŸ˜‰

    10Q 10Q. Must buy you & john coffee at sun yuen loong when i am in ipoh next month.

    Maggie
    Glad u like it. Ya…the nation is damn proud of me for creating another potential tax payer. isn’t this like “matrix” the movie? eeee….scary man!!

    leonard
    hahaha dont know the score yet…will leave it to lau thean yeh lah. Good question…did i write the post? Actually, i didnt. I just click click on my keyboard hahahaha!

    Titoki
    coming from a sexy gal like u…i take it as a compliment. i cant believe u think this post is funny and sexy at the same time.

    We have not hit the jackpot yet. Still trying…

  9. titoki said,

    Sexist (adj) = gender discrimination and not SEXY laa. LOL. πŸ™‚

  10. Zara's Mama said,

    Dear Daddy See Fei,
    If you want to see me sooner, please make sure your huffing and puffing session are done properly. Do not shoot blank bullets.

    Also, please don’t be dissapointed if I forgot to bring my kukujiao, because I maybe made of sugar and spice and all things nice, the kukujiao will spoil everything nice.

    And don’t worry, I won’t have to imagine peeing into your golf driver, because I WILL BE PEEING into your golf drivers.

    Please be prepared to receive me with open arms.

    Love,
    Your unborn child.

  11. See Fei said,

    Titoki
    thanks for the ingrish lesson…hehehe

  12. blurblur said,

    Yeah, why must have kukujiao? Without also very good mah, sweet and lovely and all things pinky…;)

    Jia you,work harder ok? πŸ˜‰ Me working hard too…should i write a letter to my ‘daughter’ also? ;p

  13. Simple American said,

    Thanks for visiting my blog See Fei. Good luck in your Father’s Day preparations.

    It is important to call for the child often. Eventually, the call shall be heard. Heck preparenting is the fun part.

  14. See Fei said,

    My dear unborn child
    i can see you had got yourself acquainted with Zara & her mummy. Daddy is happy for your good choice of friends.

    Daddy will accept you no matter what is your gender, as long as you dont have it changed during daddy & mummy life time. i am afraid your mummy’s heart will not be strong enough to take the news.

    If you think peeing into daddy’s golf clubs is funny, let daddy teach you the 2nd Law of Newton. The 2nd Law of Newton states that for every action there is a reaction. So, dont be surprise when one day you will find YOUR golf clubs are wet too. Daddy got no choice as my weak bladder and soft legs may not allow daddy to make it all the way to the toilet to answer the call of nature.

    My dear unborn child, daddy and mummy will not only receive you with open arms, we will follow up with an open cheque book to ensure that you will have the best medical care $$ can buy.

    DD & MM

  15. See Fei said,

    bLUR2
    Thank you. WE will keep each other encouraged, Ok?

    Actually we are looking for a gynae to have a medical checkup, just in case.

  16. Mother Superior said,

    OK, OK, I am damn blur, OK? I still don’t understand. Is baby conceived or still need more huffing and puffing?

    If baby is due in April 2007, congrats man! All the work has been worth it.

    But if April 2007 is only in your mind, then, stop writing posts, just go huff and puff! OK??? Hi yah!

  17. Mickell said,

    Way to go pal! Keep up the good work! πŸ™‚ Girls easier to bring up than boys when they are toddlers. But when they become teenagers. Fathers constantly have to worry more for them than their teenage sons.

    You wrote very well πŸ™‚

    i want to make another baby with my wife. Alas, money no enuff ;p

  18. See Fei said,

    Mother Superior
    You advice is timely. I think there is priority in life that i had not been attending to like putting in effort to prepare and to have a child.

    I will probably stop writing for a while after my century post which is coming up next.

  19. me said,

    waiiiiiitttttt. fei fei, you just kena tagged by me. *bend to avoid flying shoe*. don’t stop writing, do tag first. πŸ™‚ i’ll miss reading your posts.

  20. Mother Superior said,

    To Mike: This is easier said than done, but children bring wealth untold. So, don’t fret over money no enough, cos God will supply, and so will the govt, haha, with Baby Bonus and all. The Bonus really helps, and esp if wife is 28 or below.

    See Fei: I should think less stress on yourself and SO would be more useful, you reckon? To me, that is one of the best preparation.

  21. Mickell said,

    To Mother Superior: Amen. God will supply. But wife and MIL are not convinced. MIL said she will not help us take care of another baby as she’s really worn out by our 1st one ;p

  22. titoki said,

    Your email add?

  23. Happysurfer said,

    See fei, such a cute and hilarious post. LOL. Best wishes on your huffing and puffing for that KKJ bundle of joy come Apr07.

  24. See Fei said,

    Simple American
    Preparenting? Thats new to me. Preparenting is fun? Well, will make it my new hobby then!

    Mike
    thank you for the compliment. I guess it came out well cos i really write from the bottom of my heart…and my frustration that my child didnt hear my calling.

    well, good luck to you too! $$ not enuf…well, something got to go…your gasoline sucking vampire? LOL

  25. See Fei said,

    Mother Superior & Mike
    Having and raising a child is no joke. The joy a child bring is just the sweetener…it is no substitute for baby powder. I guess we just cant receive our child with an open arms…

    Having said that, it is really what you want. You gain something, in return you have to give up someting.

  26. See Fei said,

    Happysurfer
    10Q 10Q got any tips or not?

  27. Mickell said,

    Cool! πŸ˜€

  28. Skyler said,

    OMG! That is so weird, and yet so funny, and yet so cute!

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